When the ‘baby blues’ leads to career carnage – finding balance after post-natal depression

During National Inclusion Week, we spoke with with Amy Hughes, Co-host of Think Outside The Fence Podcast. PGDip, Ag Sciences and Production Systems. Mental health first aider and Senior Engagement Manager for The AHDB beef & lamb. to talk to her about her experiences with post-natal depression.

Amy candidly shared her journey, from the overwhelming feelings of fear and uncertainty after the birth of her second child to the pressure she placed on herself to "bounce back" professionally. Her story is a reminder that self-care and setting boundaries are essential to both personal and professional well-being. Amy’s message during National Inclusion Week is clear: prioritising mental health is key to creating a truly inclusive environment for all.

I remember as clear as day, sitting and looking at my 1-year-old and his newborn baby brother next to him. I had all sorts running through my head; “I can’t do this” “When will this end” “I don’t want to do this”

In a bid to reassure me, those close to me told me that it was just the baby blues – hormones – and that it would get better. But the absolute dread that I felt in the pit of my stomach told me it wouldn’t. Sure enough, a couple of weeks later I was diagnosed with post-natal depression.

My second son had been an amazing little ‘accident’. Loved unconditionally, but man, had he thrown a spanner in the works of what I thought my life would look like. When I was pregnant with my first, I remember saying “Don’t worry, I’ll be back at work in 6 months."

What I didn’t realise was that nobody cared when I’d be back. Everyone was delighted and excited for me to start a new stage of my life. It was only me that thought the world couldn’t turn if I wasn’t at work and probably more accurately, only me that was terrified that indeed it might still turn and that I would be forgotten about in a professional capacity.

I went back after my second son when he was 10 months old and pushed myself to the limit. I said ‘yes’ to every project, started an MSc, developed new initiatives and worked stupid hours, all in a desperate bid to make sure I wasn’t seen as ‘just a mum’. 4 months after returning back to work, I spent a week on the road delivering events for farmers and when they were over, do you know what I thought? “I have nothing now, it’s over”

This was the turning point for me. While having a panic attack at the side of the M6, I realised things had to change. I had proven myself, my kids were the most important thing to me, and my life was supposed to change after having them. Motherhood is meant to change you. You can’t “bounce back” into who you were before, you grow forwards into a new version of yourself.

So that’s what I did. Boundaries were put in place, I said ‘no’, and I recognised my own worth professionally. I could do my job, just as well if not better, in a part time capacity. I did deserve to relax in an evening and not work and I realised that no one thought any less of me for it.

Nobody knows what the right balance is for you. You have to decide that. But make sure it is you that decides and recognise when you’re pushing yourself too hard. Why are you doing that? What are you trying to achieve or prove? The world will turn at work without you, but it won’t at home.